Rudiments: Dealing With Disappointment.
If I can be completely honest, recently I have struggled with much discouragement and discontentment in my craft. The desire to chase after the “dream" had me in consistent tension. This tension looked like the idea of understanding how blessed I am to be able to do what I love at a great level on a consistent basis, playing with good friends and creating fresh memories, however also wondering when that “big break” would come. Questioning if the work that i have done is truly enough. The thoughts have not lead me to the idea of quitting, it really has lead me to the idea of am I willing to rest. Rest in the fact that disappointment is real and that even when it whispers the questions “when will it happen?” or even “is it too late?” that I can truly work through these moments and come to the core of what is causing these thoughts.
As I am writing this I have come to realize, there are not too many moments when I have officially quit on something. Much of the things that I have quit on have been very remedial (not that I’m proud of all those moments either). I think the area that I have struggled most with is dealing with disappointment in its most healthy manner. In the way that I am wired, I have really tried to fight through my disappointment. That means tried not talking about it..lol Mainly because I did not want to appear ungrateful, I did not want to appear that I was I was putting my faith in other individuals nor did I want to put myself in a position where I feel that I need to tell God how my life needs to be ran as it pertains to what doors needed to be opened. In addition, when getting feedback from what I felt disappointed in, I was realizing that some of those disappointments were self inflicted from very skewed perspective about self. Allowing myself to get in my own head and get myself off course when I am actually moving forward.
Going back to the idea that disappointment is real. The fact is sometimes we also have goals and those goals don’t always reap the results that we desire or the results did not come when we though that they should have happened. I am also realizing that the process to get to that goal is at times much more or as important than the actual goal itself. I am just learning that i have to be okay with with working through and learning to love the process in which will result in whatever comes and not putting unnecessary expectations, but being willing to work through the gift.
So i have talked about the struggle and perspective shifts. Now let’s talk about some ways that I have been engaging in breakthrough. Now let me say this, it has not been easy and due to me being human it will be a daily fight, but I am willing to work through it.
I will preface this. A few timely conversations brought some things to light. I will talk about the coffee shop encounter. I was finishing up some business and one of my good friends walked through without us even knowing that we both would be there. As I was already in the starting process of working through regaining contentment and finding out what that means for me in my life, he gave me permission to be honest and vulnerable about my disappointments and how I been learning to trust God in the process of them. He also really spoke into my life sharing what he has learned as it pertains to being content and how that could look in the lives of a person that is really trying to live a purposeful life. Here are a few points that he shared and I also have added a few myself that have hit my heart:
Give your best in the current season you are in.
(Learn to) take small steps to your goals.
(Learn to) eliminate comparisons and unnecessary distractions.
Celebrate small victories.
Engage in healthy community where transparency and vulnerability is encouraged. As well be willing to listen and take cues for correction and edification.
Trust and love God in the process.
In conclusion, this small list is not the only route to overcome adversity, however it has been a catalyst in the new aspect of my journey. Some of the answers were already in my heart, I just needed a reminder to keep this in front of my face. I also don’t want to make this appear that is always easy. The fact is that its not. The social pressures of where one should be in a particular aspect of their life can be hard especially with invisible voices that surround a person at times speak so loudly. However, the ability to overcome lies within each of us, we just have to be wiling to break through it.
Whatever your dream may be or the goal that you are trying to attain, I want to encourage you to protect it, breathe and continue to move forward. Disappointments are real but we don’t have to live in them. I know for me, the more I walk in the path that is destined for me, I realize that the disappointments are only the weights that are helping produce muscle.
Landing On The One:
I know that we all deal with disappointments.
1.What are ways that you deal with disappointment?
2.Do you have accountability when you hit moments of discouragement?
3. Are you holding yourself back due to the fear of disappointment?